Bella Papaya
My surgery was about two and a half weeks ago, and obviously I lived - otherwise, this is a super-creepy post from an in-denial spirit. (In which case, disregard.) I like to think I'm a realist. My chances of croaking - due to my liver being a potential TICKING TIME BOMB sent to take me down - were much more likely than a healthy person's. Going in anticipating I might die and then not actually dying means one wakes up with a pleasant surprise! See, realism.

It wasn't a terribly painful surgery. There were some irritating things - for example, a mandatory stay in ICU which is apparently the norm for my doctor, but I was somehow not informed. A weird quirk in my sleeping pattern apparently meant that every time I fell asleep, my oxygen levels kept dropping and the alarms started going off, so I was oxygen-bound the whole time. I felt tons better after they unhooked some of the less savory crap as well.

I had one decent nurse, one good nurse, and one fantastic nurse. This particular hospital had room service instead of a traditional dietary program. It was still hospital food, but you got to pick what you wanted from a menu.

I stayed sore for about five days, and then after that I was fine. My external incisions are a mixed bag - won't know about the internal one until my follow-up on Thursday. I chilled out and watched a bunch of TV and read a bunch of books. My lower abdomen feels a little different. There are some other interesting quirks. Overall, I'm pretty glad it's done, but I really hope I don't have to have any more major operations before/if/when I get my transplant.
mood: hothot
music: The Black Angels - "Bloodhounds On My Trail"
Bella Papaya
31 January 2012 @ 01:23 am
What is your answering machine away message? If you don't have one, you can make it up!

I generally don't have one. I hate - hate, hate, hate - voicemail and I either leave it up to the automatic message or never set up the system. One day I will get one of those voice-to-text things that emails me my voicemails. But only when I really need it.

I've had pneumonia since the 19th or so. My life is at a complete standstill, I haven't been to class since then, and I have a stabbing pain in my ribcage. My goal is to go to class in the morning but I was exhausted just walking to and from my car today on my 5011th followup appointment so who knows.

Bought two new shirts from Ript Apparel. I'm sorry to say that I missed the one with The Beets from Doug, but I did get these two fabulous ones.

mood: blahblah
music: Radiohead - "High and Dry"
Bella Papaya
05 December 2011 @ 02:26 am
What are you allergic to?

You name it. The usual environmental crap that makes everyone wheeze, and every antibiotic imaginable. At this point the only things I can take are the penicillins and the cyclines. I'm intolerant in some food areas as well, but nothing hive inducing.

And since I'm horribly remiss in posting, let's do another one:

What is your favorite smell?

In a general sense, I love anything cinnamon-y. I'm going to start working on crafting holiday soaps next week, and for my warm-colored soaps I have made up a mix of three existing fragrance oils that I don't like on their own. Combined, they have notes of two kinds of apples, oranges, ginger, cloves, and cinnamon, and it smells lovely.

A specific smell that I love, however, is the way that certain things at Disney World smell. For example, there are certain sections of Epcot that smell like cinnamon almonds, and I love the orange grove and forest scenes in Soarin' smell. I was in Wal-Mart yesterday and the Glade holiday scent display had these candles that smelled just like those pines.

There's no real reason I haven't been posting I guess, so hi. I've made 2 or 3 posts and then deleted the contents before posting for whatever reason. My life is pretty much an endless cycle of school, dogs, airports, and plague, realistically, so nothing new.

I did see this link yesterday that says it's a tearjerker, and it doesn't lie. I was reminded of beagle1 and thus resolved to make a post today.

The only other major thing was that my new cousin was born about four weeks ago. She's a very small baby (though she was average weight at birth and weighs about 9lbs now) which is interesting because we usually have big, broad-framed babies in my family. My sister's baby boy is due in January but she's pressing for him to be born... now, which is a story for another post.

mood: tiredtired
music: Warren Barfield - "I'll Be Alright"
Bella Papaya
21 September 2011 @ 05:49 am
It's Stephen King's birthday! Who is your favorite character from one of his books?

I've read almost every word that Stephen King has published save the nonfiction and the screenplay, and my favorite character has and probably will always be Larry Underwood from The Stand. If he isn't the most logically complex character in any of the novels that SK has churned out over the years, he's damn close. If I had to rank favorite fictional characters from any writer or medium, Larry is almost certainly in the top 3, perhaps even #2. (Of course, Biff is #1 and probably always will be.)

The thing about Larry is that his oft-accepted "not a nice guy" persona is merely scratched a little and underneath it you see the kind of person he really is. His entire story is about his struggle to matter and relate to the environment around him, growing and becoming authentic almost with every line. I love Larry; I get him.
mood: awakeawake
music: Ryan Adams & The Cardinals - "Silver Bullets"
Bella Papaya
05 February 2011 @ 09:13 am
What is your favorite opening line of a book, and why?

I think this needs no explanation:
The angel was cleaning out his closets when the call came. Halos and moonbeams were sorted into piles according to brightness. Satchels of wrath and scabbards of lightning hung on hooks, waiting to be dusted. A wineskin of glory had leaked in the corner, and the angel blotted it with a wad of fabric. Each time he turned the cloth, a muted chorus rang from the closet as if he'd clamped the lid down on a pickle jar full of hallelujah chorus.
- Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
, Christopher Moore

I pretty much read my favorite books over and over as it is. Last week I reread Percy, and the five weeks before that I reread Harry Potter at bedtime when I wasn't at the hospital, and now I'm rereading The Stand since the news was released that they're going to make a film out of it (how is my first thought, followed by hell no). It's been a long while since I've reread Lamb as I only have the biblical special edition and the audiobook at the moment. A certain ex and I listened to it as we drove around on our Provincetown vacation last year, but that's been about it, and I don't particularly want to think about that because it just makes me mad.
mood: awakeawake
music: Placebo - "Infra-Red"
Bella Papaya
21 November 2010 @ 11:09 pm
How do you feel when a favorite band breaks up? Do you still follow the original band members in their new projects?

girldisppearing and I have been rooting for Better Than Ezra to break up for years. This sounds horrible as they're Right Up There tied for first place for my favorite band ever, but honestly the last record was painfully bad and Kevin has, in my opinion, developed a painful sense of self-importance. I think we all know at this point that Paper Empire was supposed to be a solo record and if that is going to be The Way It Is from here on out I'd rather they split now. They're too fractured and BTE, to me, will always be Classic Lineup Kevin/Tom/Travis. New Drummer is good, but he ain't Travis. I would definitely try to keep up with what Tom does afterward.

When Black Lab broke up I clearly followed Paul 'til he reformed the band, and that's generally the case. Most of my favorites are still together.
Bella Papaya
03 July 2010 @ 04:31 am
Do you think a romantic relationship can ever be equal or will one partner always love and/or compromise more than the other? Given the choice, would you rather be the one who loves more or is loved more?

This is a difficult question, maybe the hardest one I've ever seen on Writer's Block. Ideally, I think that a romantic relationship can be equal, but I've never experienced it. I think Mollie and I probably love each other equally but in different ways. I love her in the sense that I would like to spend the rest of my life with her and in that I want her to be the mother of my children. I don't think she feels that for me, or if she does, it's a much more abstract idea where mine is fixed and concrete. I do think I compromise more than her - I do feel like I have let go of some things I want/need to keep her happy or to keep my temper from flaring up (I have a sharp tongue, we all know that). I wonder what she thinks on the subject, but I am sure I will never know because that's how she rolls. As for the last bit, I think that's unanswerable.

JESUS I AM TIRED. I am behind on everything and I spent way too much on groceries today so this will not be the do-laundry-go-to-the-movies-and-the-pool weekend I anticipated but instead the stay-home-clean-house-and-grab-the-hand-washing-machine type of weekend. My eating habits have gone to hell over the last two weeks and it's time to remedy them, though, before I have to go back on my diabetes meds - so money well spent.

I do have a lead on a washer/dryer set, though. I don't care if they're old.

The other night Charlie got out as I was taking out the trash and I swear I almost died because he did not come home for like seven hours. This has never happened before and I have kept a much closer eye on him since it happened. He crossed the highway and apparently went for a jaunt through the woods as he showed up the next morning at tha back door crying, cold, and covered in ticks. I am still killing ticks.

I do have to get the house in some semblance of order, however, and get caught up on stuff (I have 900 emails to send, plus I need to be addressing Jesseca's reception invites - it is only 2 weekends away. Thank God most people already know about it) because my mom will be here Wednesday so we can go to Nashville to see Big Al and the Gay Christmas Elf and I don't want her to come in to see that I have a waist-high laundry pile in the living room floor. BRB, putting it all in storage bins and hiding them until she leaves.

I haven't put together my desktop yet, and my laptop has no music on it, so I've been listening to Pandora. It plays some weird shit sometimes. However, it just queued up "Nobody Girl" which reminds me of the five-day period where I wrote "Southside Of Heaven" last August(?) - it was on the so-to-speak soundtrack, I think, and if it wasn't it should have been because this song was totally the soundtrack to the part where Adam goes out and does bad shit for drug money (which is only implied at on paper, but was totally fleshed out in my head as I wrote. Way too involved with that story, way too involved). Last summer was good, at least before everyone's inherent personality flaws started showing up.
mood: sleepysleepy
music: Ryan Adams - "Nobody Girl"
Bella Papaya
If you could have one--and only one--wish granted in the next five minutes, what would you wish? How do you think it would improve your life?

This is a tough question. On one hand, logically I'd say "five million tax-free dollars in my bank account and not by accident." On the other hand a couple of friends and I kept reminiscing about classic lineup BTE earlier and while I seriously love money I also love BTE... you think for a great big donation to the Foundation that I could get classic BTE to reunite for a show? If that's the case I will totally go with the money.

My dream is to get to do a set of NOLA House Of Blues shows one day. Even though Kevin has lost his fucking mind and Travis has gone on to Sugarland I would still like to ~make the pilgrimage.

I am a fairly simple person. I like my dog. I love music. I like caffeine and airports and clean laundry. Offer me any of those and I'll likely say yes.

mood: tiredtired
music: Better Than Ezra - "A Southern Thing"
Bella Papaya
26 May 2010 @ 06:10 am
If your dog or cat had a mobile phone, who would be listed first on her or his speed dial?

On Charlie's, my mother. On Zoe's... probably a rescue organization to come save her from me.

Don't get me wrong, Zoe is a sweet dog. The problem is, I'm guessing, that no one trained her before I had her. And that's not what I signed up for. She's not housetrained, she's not got any kind of behavior training, nada. The first thing I did was to teach her to sit. Why does a two-year-old dog not know how to sit?!

The first week and a half every single trip to the bathroom was done on my living room rug. I kept racking it up to adjustment, but then I realized the only time she'd go outside is if she was watching Charlie do it and then hikes her leg just like he does - and there was no sense of "I am not supposed to be going on the rug" either when she went. It was like "oh hai, I peed." She has no go-to-the-door or whine-and-nod cues like all the other dogs I've seen. I don't think she was ever trained at all.

So I got out the crate. The first crate she learned to escape from in less than 2 minutes. I got my mom to bring up the heavy duty wired crate. She cries in it. All the time. We started slow - just putting her food in it and I'd let her eat it from there. She'd try to dump out the food/water and eat it outside the bowl. Then she got used to eating it in the crate so I shut the door and sat with her for about ten minutes. As soon as I stood up - cry. She won't go in it on her own. If I go to the bathroom - cry. If I put her it and go to the kitchen - where she can still me but I can't see her - cry.

At night when she goes to bed if the lights aren't off she won't sleep. If the computer's being used, she won't sleep. If I lay down to read a book she won't leave me alone even to turn a page. If I'm not wearing pajama pants it's crotch-sniffing. If I roll over she climbs on top of me. No amount of "No, Zoe" makes her stop. That's why I'm awake right now - I require a few minutes of reading to get to sleep and she absolutely will not let me read my book. At all.

She barks at everything. She barks at someone opening a door two doors down. "No, Zoe" doesn't work. She's got Charlie all riled up and now he barks at everything too when he'd only been barking at the Domino's man and the UPS guy. Yesterday I had enough and got out the squirt bottle and squirted them everytime they growled at people when we go outside to walk. That seemed to work okay for a minute or so.

And now she's just peed on my freshly shampooed carpet again. No warning, no cues, and we went out a little while ago.

mood: tiredtired
music: Better Than Ezra - "Use Me"
Bella Papaya
02 May 2010 @ 01:33 pm
You may have heard about the woman who married the Eiffel Tower. If you had to marry an object, what object would you choose, and why?

mood: hungryhungry
music: Black Lab - "Bulletproof"
Bella Papaya
12 February 2010 @ 11:16 am
I'm outing myself as a John Mayer stan. I think he's fucking amazing and one of the most talented people ever. The Birmingham show, Playboy interview, subsequent breakdown, and my thoughts on his douchebaggery.Collapse )

John Mayer saved my life in 2002. I'll spare you the details other than that to say without him I probably would not be around right now. He got me through some hard times and I'm willing to support him through his hard times, too.

Birmingham setlist:
Heartbreak Warfare
Bigger Than My Body
I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)
Perfectly Lonely
In Your Atmosphere w/Something's Missing (acoustic; said he wrote it on the bus in Birmingham and that he didn't remember the words - he did)
Free Fallin' (acoustic)
Edge Of Desire
Half Of My Heart w/Dreams (Fleetwood Mac)
Why Georgia
Waiting On the World To Change

Who Says
Gravity w/You Can't Always Get What You Want

Before "Say," he said there was a girl on the front row who was "the cutest girl he'd ever seen" and that she knew all the words and he kept flailing over how cute she was. During "Say" they put her up on the screen - she was about 10, maybe 11, with braces and knew every damn word of the song (they put her on the screen several times after that and she damn well knew those songs too). He sang in her general direction for the better part of the night and gave her a setlist. It was presh.
mood: busybusy
music: Sublime - "Doin' Time" (Pharcyde Remix)